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Category Archives: Advice

LEARNING THE ROPES

In the comments section on Monday’s post that you can see through

THIS LINK

there was some discussion on the correct materials to use for bondage play. Not knowing a great deal about this subject myself (apart from knowing a lot of knots), I tracked down a few sources of information on the best types of ropes, to get started with. It was a surprise to me how often Nylon was advised. I thought that I would share a few links and a video about what kind of rope to buy if you want learn more about the practical bondage world.

Beginner’s Guide to Buying Rope

How to Choose the Right Rope for Bondage Play

Bondage Rope 101 – 12 Useful Tips and Extensive Rope Rundown

And finally a video on rope choices

I hope that both you and I are a bit better informed now

All images used in this post came from

Hywel Phillips Photographer Elegance Studios

Prefectdt

SAFE WORD!

Not long after moving from the UK to The Netherlands (where I lived for about three and a half years before moving to Belgium), in the early 1990’s, I realized that playing with people who’s first language was not English meant that having a simple safe word was a good idea. So I changed my safe word from “Petunias” to simply “Safe Word” and have been using that ever since. And although unless I look it up I forget it, I also try to learn “Safe Word” in other languages. Especially those languages of people that I am playing with at the time, just in case they did not recognise the English version. So here is “Safe Word” in a few other tongues.

SAFE WORD

Dutch – Veilig Woord

German – Sicherheitswort

French – Mot Sur

Spanish – Palebra Segura

Italian – Parola Sicura

Portuguese – Palavra Segura

Romanian – Ourvant De Siguranta

Hungarian – Biztonsagos Szo

Maltese – Kelma Sigura

I have to admit though that I have never played with anyone from Spain, Italy or Portugal. I just looked them up just in case they might be needed one day. And on the few occasions that I have needed play to stop I have only actually ever used the English and Dutch versions. Still it’s nice to know that, in the heat of play, if someone does not register the Safe Word, that you can say it in their language.

Prefectdt

REPOST – WHEN LOOKING FOR A PRO DISCIPLINARIAN

I’ll admit it, I have not done my blog homework in the weekend and the dog ate it and we had a power cut and add any other lame and untrue excuse that you like to that list. Well sorry I was just too busy and you can invite me over for a punishment caning if you like, no really, I would like that 🙂 Anyway I came across this post from august 14 2012 and thought that it was just as relevant now as it was then. So you have something to read, whilst I join the queue outside the study of the Head Mistress.

WHEN LOOKING FOR A PRO DISCIPLINARIAN – FROM THE 14TH OF AUGUST 2012

I do not approve or disapprove of the disciplinarians, who’s images I have used in this post, I simply chose them because I am unlikely to visit them due to geographical location. These images came from Miss Kami Robertson DisciplinarianMiss Sarah Gregory and Mistress Claudia Surrey Domme.

When I am visiting the website of a pro disciplinarian I am looking for…

Recently (then as now) I have been thinking about visiting a professional disciplinarian and so have been touring the ‘net looking at websites and finding that some of them are lacking the kind of information that I want. Well I am going to say what I am looking to see on a pro disciplinarian’s site.

Clear and easy information

I want to know the general location of business, not a precise address but just an idea if it is within reasonable travelling distance.

I want to know what services that are or are not offered.

I want contact details.

I want to know times and dates of convenience.

I would like all of this to be easy to find and not have to hunt around for the information.

Pictures

Galleries are great, a picture can say a thousand words but I get annoyed at galleries that just seem to say “Look how hot I am.”.

Photos of the disciplinarian are good, I am not looking for them of someone in a state of undress (some might but not me) but I like to see an image that can cross that first physiological barrier of “Does this person look like they can click my Yes Mis’ button”.

Showing the range of toys/implements available is always a good idea.

And showing some results of the spanking range offered, from most ,mild to most harsh, can be a very good guide to the severity levels that are offered.

Some images of the location are also useful.

I also like to see

An “I do not offer sexual services” notice. I’m looking for a spanking and not sex so it is reassuring to see that, that is the deal.

An idea if I can go “Ouch!” at the place of play. Having to control the loudness of vocalization reduces the enjoyability of play.

A nice clean simple website. All the bells and whistles of sophisticated web design, might be impressive at first but it can very quickly become annoying.

I don’t want to be a time waster

I do not like having my time wasted and I do not like to waste the time of others and an informative and easy to negotiate website can help reduce the numbers of unnecessary emails from inappropriate clientèle. Different Tops/Dommes offer different services and different Bottoms/Subs want different services, good websites can help people find the right match, bad ones can put potential clients off and encourage time wasting.

I have just realised that not only did I not do my blog homework, I am now guilty of copying the work of me from 7 years ago. O well, I suppose that those six strokes have now turned into a full dozen 🙂

Prefectdt

THE GUILTY FEMINIST INSPIRED KINKMOPOLITAN’S TOP TEN TIPS ON HOW TO KNOW THAT YOUR DOMME STILL LOVES YOU

What inspired this post

 

Because of EVENTS SOME YEARS AGO I could not watch much television for quite some time. To fill the entertainment gap I listened to BBC RADIO 4 and a lot of Podcasts. Now that I can watch TV again, I find that I am not missing it and so did not bother getting reconnected to the normal TV supply network. Now I only have Netflix and am still listening to a lot of stuff. A podcast that I have only recently discovered is THE GUILTY FEMINIST, which I strongly recommend. One of the episodes FEATURED THE WAY THAT MANY WOMEN’S MAGAZINES ARE WRITTEN and that is well worth listening to. That inspired me to create the fictional magazine Kinkmopolitan and to write this post in the style of such publications as COSMOPOLITAN and VOGUE. As I am not a BDSMer and have never been in a 24/7 relationship, by the standards of these magazines I am well qualified to wax lyrical about the subject. In fact, because I know what BDSM means, without having to Google it, I am probably over qualified.

 

Kinkmopolitan’s top ten tips on how a male BDSM submissive can tell that his Domme loves him

 

SuspendedCage from femdom resourse.jpg

 

Imagine the scene, you can tell that the sun is setting by the way that the shadow of the bars on the window are crawling up the cold stone wall. You flex your muscles to test the rope binding you as you lie on the hard floor of your cage. You can feel your pulse through your fresh welts and the taste of stiletto still lingers in your mouth. All of this should make a guy feel secure, as he drifts off to sleep but still there is that lingering thought in the back of your mind that asks “Does My Domme Really Love Me?”.

Here are Kinkmopolitan’s top ten things to look out for, that proves that a Domme still loves her sub and is not just making do until someone with a higher pain tolerance comes along.

 

You know that your Domme loves you when….

 

NUMBER 1

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She does her best not to fart, when she is sitting on your face

 

Number 2

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Your food bowl has ‘WHO’S A GOOD BOY’ written on it

 

Number 3

 

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When she screams “VAGINA FACE!” at you and you know that it is an instruction and not her nick name for you

 

Number 4

 

life-is-short-but-so-is-your-penis-rectangular-pillows.jpg from society 6.jpg

She makes sure that you have a nice comfy pillow, in your cage, to rest your head on

 

Number 5

 

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Only she gets to use you as a chair and not 3 or 4 of her friends, all at once

 

Number 6

 

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She makes sure that you are well lubed up before inserting the giant butt plug

 

Number 7

 

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She always keeps her promise to untie you in the morning

 

Number 8

 

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She uses a special set of cloths pegs for your zipper and does not just use the ones from the washing line

 

Number 9

 

tie-me-up-tie-me-down-01-1511306007 from Katie Buckleitner.jpg

She never ties your wrists so tightly that your hands turn purple and you pass out

 

Number 10

 

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She does not make you walk the dog in your Sissy Maid outfit

 

So now you know that your Domme still loves you and you can drift off to the land of nod, safe in the knowledge that tomorrow will be another wonderful day, filled with pain and humiliation. Good night Mr man slave.

 

The images used in this post came from SPANKED HUBBY, SOCIETY 6, ADULT SMART SEX TOY BLOG, KATIE BUCKLEITNER, MEDIUM.COM, CANDY STAVROULAKIS, and CONSENSUAL SPANKING.

 

Prefectdt

PS

I am a feminist but – I did not write this in a NON BINARY or GENDER NEUTRAL fashion because that would have been too much of a faf about

Wikipedia – A New Blog – Sciatica – And Glasses Are Good

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Adding a blog

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Disciplined behaviour is a mostly F/m blog with a nice mixture of pictorial and text based content. it will be added to the second blog roll.

Spanking and Sciatica

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This subject was explored on the blog Spanked, Not Silenced, in this post Spanking and sciatica. Many tips and pieces of advice about participating in spanking whilst suffering from this condition are explored and could be very useful for any spanko that has this problem.

Wikipedia porn pogrom ends

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Thanks to Melon Farmers for information on this article. Not really sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing but according to this report AVN – Fox: Wikimedia No Longer Purging ‘Porn’ From Encyclopedia, the search for porn images on Wikipedia has now ended.

Glasses are good

It is no secret to regular visitors to this blog, that I find women better looking when they are wearing glasses but apart from increased attractiveness, here is another reason to wear glasses, if they are needed.

Prefectdt

If you like these images or any others in this blog, you can vote for them for the monthly, Top Of The Click Pops by clicking or right clicking on them. The top five are posted at or near the beginning of every month, for the previous months result.

When Looking For A Pro Disciplinarian?

Note

I do not approve or disapprove of the disciplinarians, who’s images I have used in this post, I simply chose them because I am unlikely to visit them due to geographical location. These images came from Miss Kami Robertson DisciplinarianMiss Sarah Gregory and Mistress Claudia Surrey Domme.

When I visit the website of a pro disciplinarian I am looking for…

Recently I have been thinking about visiting a professional disciplinarian and so have been touring the ‘net looking at websites and finding that some of them are lacking the kind of information that I want. Well I am going to say what I am looking to see on a pro disciplinarian’s site.

Clear and easy information

I want to know the general location of business, not a precise address but just an idea if it is within reasonable traveling distance.

I want to know what services that are or are not offered.

I want contact details.

And I want to know times and dates of convenience.

I would like all of this to be easy to find and not have to hunt around for it.

Pictures

Galleries are great, a picture can say a thousand words but I get annoyed at galleries that just seem to say “Look how hot I am.”.

Photos of the disciplinarian are good, I am not looking for them of someone in a state of undress (some might but not me) but I like to see an image that can cross that first physiological barrier of “Can this person look like they can click my Yes Mis’ button”.

Show the range of toys/implements available is always a good idea.

And showing some results of the spanking range offered, from most ,mild to most harsh, is a very good guide.

Some images of the location are also useful

I also like to see…

An “I do not offer sexual services” notice. I’m looking for a spanking and not sex so it is reassuring to see that, that is the deal.

An idea if I can go “Ouch!” at the place of play. Having to control the loudness of vocalization reduces the enjoyability of play.

A nice clean simple website. All the bells and whistles of sophisticated web design, might be impressive at first but it can very quickly become annoying.

I don’t want to be a time waster

I do not like having my time wasted and I do not like to waste the time of others and an informative and easy to negotiate website can help reduce the numbers of unnecessary emails from inappropriate clientele. Different Tops/Dommes offer different services and different Bottoms/Subs want different services, good websites can help people find the right match bad ones can put potential clients off and encourage time wasting.

Prefectdt

If you like these images or any others in this blog, you can vote for it for the monthly, Top Of The Click Pops by clicking or right clicking on them. The top five are posted at or near the beginning of every month, for the previous months result.