Mr Mather, 35, Car Mechanic Meets Bratty Blanche, 31, Area Sales Manager, On A Blind Date
Note – This is a 100% fictitious article. None of the participants or locations exist and any resemblance to real life people or places is purely coincidental. This post is based on a regular series of articles published in The UK Guardian newspaper. If you want to see the real thing, follow the link below.
Mr Mather On Blanche
What were you hoping for?
To meet a well presented, educational ward, with good diction, good manners and an appropriate attitude.
First impressions?
A poorly dressed tyke, with bad posture, a poor attitude, a regional accent from God alone knows where, whose main aim in life seems to be to cause embarrassment and show off her attractive, female attributes. I had to take her in hand, virtually from the moment we met.
What did you talk about?
I could hardly fit a word in edgewise, with her constant and usually highly inappropriate nattering going on. When I did manage to speak, it was either to admonish her or to order her to bend over.
Any awkward moments?
Many, it was like she intended to deliberately embarrass me in front of the other diners, some of whom I am acquainted with. By the end of the evening, I believe that I had spent more time looking at her bare bottom, pretty though that was, than I had her face.
Good table manners?
No Atrocious. She engaged in offensive banter, left good, nutritious food wasted on her plate and then took an overly long toilet break in the middle of the meal.
Best thing about Blanche?
She is good at maintaining an awkward position, whilst in pain.
Would you introduce her to your friends?
The very strict ones, yes. I suspect that I might need all the help that I can get with this girl.
Describe Blanche in three words
MANY BEHAVIOURAL PROBLEMS!
What do you think she made of you?
Hopefully, I was a good correctional influence on her.
Did you go on somewhere?
No, I needed to go home to put some salve on my aching arm muscles.
And … did you kiss?
Don’t ask inappropriate questions!
If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
I would have arrived with a longer Cane and my thickest Tawse. They would have been of great help.
Marks out of 10?
The only numbered marks that I ever give are ones that are made on a bare bottom,
She can have a D for presentation, an E for conversational abilities, another D for table manners, an E minus for social abilities and a well-earned F for general behaviour. The only area where she shines is in her ability to receive corporal punishment with stoicism and a certain amount of grace. She can have an A for that, which is a starting point to work from, I suppose.
Would you meet again?
We have set an appointment, where we can further discuss Blanche’s problems and what can be done about them.
Blanche On Mr Mather
What were you hoping for?
To meet someone hot, strict and not shy with the old hickory stick, ya know what I mean.
First impressions?
I was not disappointed, he is tall, with chiselled, hard type, good facial features. The moment that we met, in the entrance hall, he made me spit my chewing gum into his hand, got down on one knee, there and then, put me over his knee and hand spanked me for chewing gum. Then he flipped up my skirt and spanked me some more for my implying that it was a bit early to propose marriage (the one knee thing, ya know). Then he declared that my knickers were not regulation, which was true, so he pulled them down and applied his hand some more, to my bare, bum. I knew then that this was going to be a brilliant night.
What did you talk about?
Anything and everything, that I could think of, to wind him up and get him to whup me. Which turned out to be dead easy, I’m sure that the rod up that guy’s ass has another rod up its ass.
Any awkward moments?
I should say so
He bumped into a friend, who just happened to be there with a lass who works in my office. Who would have known. We have worked together for about three years and I did not have a clue, that she did this, too. As the boys chatted, we decided to have some girly fun and started pinching each other and pulling hair. Anyways, we took it too far and it turned into a full on girly slap fight, in the middle of the dinning hall. As a result, we were both stripped naked, there and then, in front of everyone, tied to a desk and both of us got caned by both the boys. God alone knows, how I am to look her in the eye, when I hand her the work roster on Monday morning.
Good table manners?
OMG, I didn’t know it could be such a turn on, watching someone eat. He cut his food into tiny pieces, then chewed like a machine on each bite, I think he was counting the chews. My back side was burning, my hands tingling, from another punishment and watching that manly jaw going up and down, imagining that it was chewing on my little morsel, was tipping my balance a bit, ya know. If he had caned me again then, I would have been in danger of popping my cork, in front of everyone. That could be embarrassing, as I can be a bit of a squirter. So I had to go off to the loo, and play out a tune on my little pink piano, if ya know what I mean, to save myself from public humiliation. When I got back, he caned me again, for taking too long in the Naughty Little Girl’s room.
Best thing about Mr Mather?
He isn’t shy about keeping a girl in line, often and with gusto, ya know what I mean.
Would you introduce him to your friends?
Possibly. I think that he might be interesting in a group detention, situation.
Describe Mr Mather in three words
Hot, Strict, Harsh.
What do you think he made of you?
Mincemeat. And he is welcome to do it again, if he wants to.
Did you go on somewhere?
No. Even my backside has a limit and that had been reached. It would have been nice to carry on a bit more, but it just wasn’t on the cards that night.
And … did you kiss?
I was tempted to jump on him and give him a big sloppy Frenchie, this guy is hot. But that would have had repercussions and as I said before, my buns were getting a little too toasty, by the end of the evening.
If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
I would have waited till we had finished the main course before I asked him if the Spotted Dick, on the menu, would mean that I was expected to eat his willy for pudding. It is an utter nightmare trying to cut up Spam Fritters, with freshly Tawsed hands.
Marks out of 10?
He earned a good 9 pushing on 10, but I am going to give him a big fat 0 and then boast about it on my special little WhatsApp group, that he is now a member of.
Would you meet again?
O yes! Apparently, he has converted the garage of his house into the exact replica of a Hungarian school, Headmasters office, from about the start of the 20th century. He saw it on a film that he has and liked it that much that he built his own version. I have been ordered to report to his study at 6 in the evening, a week on Friday, to discuss my problems and possible solutions. If my bottom ends up felling like it does now, after that meeting, for a third date, I will be asking him to meet me behind the bike sheds. Then I can teach him the true meaning of the phrase “Lewd and inappropriate behaviour”. Ya know what I mean?
Blanche and Mr Mather met and ate at the Skool Dinaz restaurant, in Nottingham, UK. This is a specialist 18 years old and over, establishment, specializing in catering for Adult School Role Players. No children allowed, under any circumstances.
Prefectdt
PS – I enjoyed doing the two posts in this series so far. Although they take a lot of time to put together and I cannot do them regularly, I would like to continue doing them, when time allows. If anyone has any ideas for kinky couples, that I can send on a fictional blind date and/or the type of place that they can meet in, please feel free to leave suggestions, in the comments box below.
SPANKEDHORTIC II 