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Category Archives: Facts and Figures


I Think That I Would Safeword

The image above was found at


I searched around for the Chinese adult spanking world, a while ago, for a post about international spanking. There seems to be a lot of stuff around from China, and the Spanko scene there looks strong. But the quality of the images and videos was not good, so I gave up on that. But I did find a lot of historic and drama productions, featuring the use of paddles for judicial purposes.

They looked very big and painful

It looks like they were used for punishment of adult transgressors of the law

There seems to be plenty of artistic representations of these paddlings, both from that era…

and modern imaginings

The Chinese producers of historical dramas show these punishments a lot

Would I try being spanked with one of these paddles? I think that I might agree to have just one test swat, just to satisfy my curiosity, but I suspect that the paddle would prove to be beyond my endurance level.

An Example Of A Judicial Paddling In A Chinese Drama

I wonder what these paddles were made of?



Two Sides Of The Same Coin

Not exactly part of the spanking community, but I am sure we can all recognize those latex and/or leather clad BDSMers as fellow kinksters. And some of them enjoy spanking too. The BDSM community involves a lot of people, from all walks of life and of all kinds of personalities. So, there are bound to be both the good and the bad, in our society.

First The Good, The Gimp Man Of Essex

Sine 2014, this guy has been going out in public, in full Gimp outfit, raising money for charity. As you can read about in the following link.


He became a bit of a local celebrity and hero and continues his efforts until this day. Publicizing his endeavours on his Facebook page.

And he still makes it into the news, with announcements of new charitable projects. Check the next link.


Now The Bad, The Somerset Gimp

This guy has been annoying people in Somerset, in many locations and many times, since 2016. He has also been arrested multiple times. As you can read in this link.


He has finally appeared in court and looks likely to be prosecuted, for his actions. See the next link.


And understandably, our Essex Gimp holds a strong opinion, about his counterpart.


As Spankos

We can only assume that the good and the bad also exist, side by side, in our community also. And it is up to the better of us to represent ourselves to the world, to keep the flag flying and not let the bad spankos be the ones dominating the media. Otherwise, we too might end up being represented on screen like this.



It Is Not What You Might Think It Is

Above is an image of Rattan growing in the wild. It is not, as one might expect, a Bamboo like member of the Grass Family. So let me tell you a little more about it.

Rattan is of the Genus (first name in the latinized botanical name of plants) Calamus and is a sort of Palm.

Calamus grows all the way from southern India and Sri Lanka right across South East Asia in damp rain forest conditions. It is a type of Palm and starts life as a free growing plant on the rain forest floor until it reaches about one and a half meters. Once it reaches this height it starts to develop spines, as in the picture above, and uses these to scramble up the surrounding vegetation. It is not farmed or cultivated commercially, but is gathered from the wild. There are literally hundreds of species of Calamus, which might explain the variety of spanking canes available.

Now that we know where Rattan Canes come from, let’s enjoy seeing what can be done with them



We Have All Heard About The Czech Easter Whippings, But What About Slovakia

To celebrate Easter, The Czechs like to whip their Women with pomlazka, a plaited whip made of willow branches, on Easter Monday. But just over the border, in Slovakia, the citizens there like to have some Easter Monday fun too.

It Can Get Soggy

In Eastern Slovakia, the Easter Monday tradition was for the women and girls of the region to have buckets of cold water thrown over them, or be thrown into the nearest river or large stream.

Or It Can Get Ouchy

Whilst in the West of Slovakia, it was more traditional to mark Easter Monday by marking female posteriors with plaited willow whips, called a korbač, in Slovakia.

Or It Can Be Both

East and West Slovakia seem to have made up their differences and now, most places in the country carry out both traditions. This results in a soggy plaited willow whipping. And for those of you who have been on the receiving end of a wet spanking, you know how much more painful that can make playtime 🙂

So first this happens

And then a whipping with one of these occurs

And There Is A Video Of The Celebrations

I managed to find this on YouTube, that shows how a Slovakian Easter Monday Should Go

We Should Start doing this in Western Europe Too

I think that we should export this Easter Monday tradition to Western Europe. But just so we don’t look like a bunch of copy cats, we should change it into an F/m event. I would happily be ready with plates of Easter treats, for any bands of roaming women, wanting to dowse me down and whip me silly. It sounds like a fun way to spend an annual feast day.




Post Warning Note – Just for this post theme, I am allowing myself to use a lot of euphemisms that I normally go out of my way not to use. So expect silly sayings ahead.

What To Do With A Big (For Me Anyway) Stiffy When You Are Not Turned On

Last week, I told you about the start of a little Birthday adventure. You can read about that, if you missed it, through the following link.


When using the device in this photograph

And a restraining band, I managed to get my old love pole in a state of standing up, very proudly, whilst having no desire to do anything sexual, either with a partner or by rocket polishing. So I decided to get myself interested, with a selection of my favourite F/x video clips.

Getting To Grips With The Situation

So I had some serious wood

That the vacuum device had left a little larger and a lot veinier than normal

As I started to play a video, I looked at Tommy the Todger, in his ultra expanded state, maintained by a restraining band and wondered if I dared give him a handshake. What was I frightened of happening?

Well, something like that. But I took the plunge and started to explore this strange alien thing with my left hand. To my surprise, The red and purple veins, that I do not normally possess, were softer and more pliable to the touch, than the eye would suggest. So I popped open my favourite Solo, Grown up, Happy Time, assistant.

Enjoying the smell of strawberry and started to stroke Willy the One Eyed Sailor, even though I had no inclinations to do so, whilst I watched a few video clips. After about five minutes, I found that my mind started wandering and the situation became interesting to me.

Side Note

I do not enjoy orgasming. Not to say that I do not like sexual exploits, either solo or with a partner, but I find far more pleasure in taking the journey than arriving. An orgasm just means an end to the fun, for me. Not sure why this is, perhaps I suffer from weak orgasms, it is hard to tell without the ability to experience the same sensations that another person’s body might experience.

Anyway, Back To Choking The Chicken

The videos and my imagination were having the right effect. And the joyful sensation that I normally get from playing with the greasy pole was enhanced a lot by the pole being a more textured than normal. After about 15 or 20 minutes of Cuffing the Carrot and imaging what someone similar to the person in the picture below might do to me.

The inevitable, disappointing climax was reached. But this did not put an end to Mister Stiffy. I felt the bodily juices trying to exit the building, but the ejaculation was stopped by the restraining band. As the orgasm subsided, I was still left with the one eyed monster, in all its enhanced glory. So I broke out more lube and carried on playing five on one. To my surprise, things had developed greater sensation. At this point I broke out an old but favourite fantasy. The one where I am a much younger (but just legally adult) version of myself and am a prefect in a school, who has gotten on the wrong side of the Head Girl (who is also just legally adult). The Head Girl decides to take me in hand, Mercilessly 🙂

After a good fun, further half an hour (that is an estimation of time). The inevitable end game was reached again. And again the restraining band contained the blast and kept things standing to attention. After the show had dropped its curtain, I thought that it was time to bring things to a close and removed the restraining band. I expected the Meat Stick to lay down and go to sleep, but it did not. It lost its little extra length and returned to its smoother, more normal self, but the popsicle did not melt. There was only one way to bring this to an end and I indulged in more videos and self manipulation. At this point, I was glad that I was not with a woman, because Rumpleforskin had become hyper sensitive and I could not have explored a woman’s tender tunnel, under any circumstances. A feather-light touch was applied until…

It was the most impressive pearl fountain that I had ever produced, but I suppose that it was three loads arriving on one train 🙂

A Final Thought

This was an experiment to satisfy my curiosity and that end was achieved. But along the way I did find a way of prolonging the act of self-satisfaction, which proved highly enjoyable. Afterwards, though, it did leave me a little tender and I had to go and find my baggiest under crackers to wear. I suppose every joy cums at a price 🙂



Or Misadventures In A Vacuum – AKA One Of The Most Embarrassing Things I’ve Ever Posted

Post Warning Note – Just for this post theme, I am allowing myself to use a lot of euphemisms that I normally go out of my way not to use. So expect silly sayings ahead.

Regular visitors might remember, that in my post on Monday 23rd of January, I told you about an item that I purchased from an adult shop, as a birthday treat, with some money that I unexpectedly had. The item is something that I do not think that I will use a lot, but I wanted to satisfy my curiosity and this post is about that item.

My New Penis Pump And What I Did With It

Strangely, my curiosity about the effects of a vacuum on genitalia was first perked when I stumbled across a video of vaginal pumps being used in a BDSM scenario. The video is too graphic to post here, but you can see it through the following link, if you wish.


Although I did not find this a turn on, the effects of the pumps surprised and fascinated me. So I did a little research on the subject. I found statements, from women ranging from, these tools helping them to get the best orgasm ever, through to them finding it was just an uncomfortable and slightly painful experience and everything in between. It also got me thinking what the effects on the old trouser snake would be like, with the male equivalent. So when the opportunity arose, I decided to get equipped to find out for myself. And thus started my little Birthday adventure.

So I had some time on my hands, this new thing to try out, but absolutely no desire to do any rocket polishing, that day. But I thought I would just go for it anyway. A bit like the first time vagina pump user in the next link.



The kit had the cylinder, the pump, three sizes of entry holes, for the old one eyed sailor and a rubber penis ring, with bobbles on it, for some reason, I don’t know.

First thing

Could it get a guy, who is not in the mood, up and ready for action? I fitted the silicone mount that was the right size for me (medium size, DAMMIT) and put that on the tube. Then I started to pump. The result was immediate and surprising, the sergeant major started to stand to attention. I continued pumping and achieved an impressive (for me) stiffy, without feeing horny at all. Then I pressed the release valve and the flagpole dropped its colours immediately, as my body was not pumping the blood in that direction, it was being sucked in by the vacuum. Then I thought I would try out the penis ring and positioned it on the tube. I began pumping again and decided to go for it. There are measurements on the tube and I pumped until Percy the porcelain pointer became a bit bigger than normal. Not much, only 5 mm, but then decided to stop. I was experiencing a little pain at this point, but not enough to bother me. I stopped because I was developing veins that I had never seen before and did not want to risk one of them popping and secondly, because the suction on my scrotum was starting to suck one of my two veg into the hole and I had no desire to find out what the effect would be on a gonad in a vacuum. I slipped the ring onto the base of the old fella and pressed the release valve. My bigger and a lot veinier than normal man toy remained as it was. So now the question was, what can you do with a big hard on, when you are not in a state of desiring satisfaction?

Well, that’s one idea 🙂

And next?

I decided not to take a picture of it, tempting as the idea was. Instead, I decided to get interested and inserted (stop your dirty thoughts right there 🙂 ) a flash drive into my computer. This drive has a lot of my favourite videos of hot women raining all hell on the back sides of naughty boys and girls.

Do you want to hear more?

If you want to know what happened next, ask nicely in the comments box and I will consider telling you about it next Friday. If you object to such a post, tell me about it and I will weigh up the feedback and decide if I should post the rest of the adventure or not.

And I found another use for penis pumps

They can unblock drains 🙂