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Category Archives: GIFs


I Like To Be Beaten

If you follow this link, it will take you to a post that I commented on


In the comment, I admitted to getting a thrill from a group of words, that I don’t tell people about very often. Those are words like, Beat, Beaten, Beating and so on and so forth. So I thought that I would do an illustrated post about words on this theme and why they get my attention.

From childhood, through to my teenage years, I would often scour the books in my local library, looking for tales of UK boarding schools, in the bad old days. Books with scenes of corporal punishment in them. I would not even check these books out, to save embracement. But instead would commit the tales to memory for later.

The CP scenes in these books were always M/m but later, in my mind, they were converted into F/m imaginations.

But there was that group of words that came up over and over again in those books, in phrases like “I am going to beat you” or “You will be beaten for that” or “There will be a beating, later today”. And so these words stuck in my mind as something thrilling and exciting.

Why I Don’t Often Admit To The Buzz That These Words Give Me

In these modern times, these words are associated with a lot of negativity and so a lot of people, understandably, do not like to use them in spanking play. For example, how often has your favourite sporting team been…


And there are a lot worse things that this group of words tends to get tied to.

So I am very careful of whom I ask to use these words and phrases with me. And I have and would never use them if I were Topping on a woman.

But They Still Thrill Me

A beating well-earned

You must be beaten

I will beat the lesson into you

Sometimes it is a word that you just can’t beat 🙂

But still it is a word that I am very careful about when, where and who I use it with.

I hope that you have a less controversial set of words or phrases that gets your spine tingling.



This Is A Subject That Floats My Boat

I do like the authoritarian atmosphere, that seems to radiate from a woman in uniform. It really clicks my “Yes M’s” button. And uniforms can be very flattering to the female form.

I have to confess to having a little personal problem about this, though. I try to keep a very strict separation between my play life and everyday life, but this self-discipline can be challenging to keep to sometimes, as women in authority, in real life, wearing uniforms, can make me slip up. A train guard gave me a simple instruction once and without thinking about it, I replied “Yes Ma’am, at your command”. I don’t think that she noticed and just seemed to be content that someone was doing what she asked them to, without giving her any jip. But I still feel incredibly embarrassed about this memory, to this day.

Even when I see play scenes with uniformed women on the receiving end of a spanking, my mind kind of turns things around and just sees this as a training session for when they are the uniformed disciplinarian.

It is a subject that holds a wide range of potential for posts, with modern uniforms, historical uniforms, military and civilian uniforms fitting into this category. Even, perhaps, illustrating some historical recollections of uniformed corporal punishment.

But I have to ruminate if doing this might increase my slip ups in real life

So I thought that I would ask the opinion of the visitors here as to whether or not I should start doing this, semi regularly, as a posting series?

Do you think that this is a good Idea or not?



Some Hot Teddy Loving

After the icky ness of my last “Other People’s kinks” post…


I thought it would be nice to explore the softer, cuter world of the plushophiles or Plushies, as they like to be called.

A Plushie is someone who likes to have sex with plush stuffed animals. This is probably one of the cutest kinks that I have ever discovered.

It is practised by both women and men

Women may use plush toys sexually by humping them or by attaching strap on dildos to the toys and riding them.

Men will often buy specially made stuffed animals that come with vagina and anus like holes, strategically sewn into the plush play thing. I have seen them for sale on Etsy.

I did stumble across a Reddit, Plushie forum, frequented by men and women and even managed to find a Plushie, music video on YouTube.

As kinks go, it all looks harmless enough to me. Even a bit of good fun, as long as it is not done in public 🙂

Even if a partner catches their other half at it

I doubt if it caused many break-ups

A few Plushies even like to dress up like their inanimate lovers.

It might be assumed that many Furries would also be Plushies


But a 1998 survey of 360 members of the furry community suggested less than one percent (that is, fewer than four people) attested to being plushophiles. So they seem to be very separate communities.

We could envy Plushies, because they are bound to have the best post-coital cuddles of any sexual fetishists.

I have known several adult women, over the years, who had beds covered with cuddly toys.

I always presumed that these were just collections. Now I am wondering if, for some of them at least, these were their personal harems 🙂


Would I try this myself? Well, if I met the right Teddy and she had a nice personality and promised not to just roll over and go to sleep, after we had finished doing the dirty… Seriously, I cannot imagine myself being the guy in the next GIF

I am not that skinny, for a start 🙂 I think that the only way that I could be tempted into partaking in this kind of thing, is if I had a sexual partner who was into it. That could lead to an interesting threesome 🙂 But this is a kink that has a certain lovability about it and I kind of feel a bit better about the world, knowing that this activity is making people happy. So, long may the Plushophiles continue to get it on with their toys, is what I say.



Just A Random GIF That I Like

There is no reason for posting this GIF on this post, apart from I like it, have had it for ages and could not find an excuse to post it. So I am using it to brighten up this post.

Smiles And Spanks Has Moved

The blog smiles and spanks has moved, you can see it at its new address through the link below


Adding Two Blogs

Two new (to me anyway) blogs are being added to the blog and vlog roll and the relevant page that can be found through the menu icon, if you are viewing this on a smartphone. You can visit them through the following two links.



And Have You Considered Moving Your Blogger Blog To

I see that Blogger has had their “Holier than though” hat on again and you now have to log into a Google account to view many of the Blogger blogs. It was this kind of thing that got me to move from Blogger to Notice that I wrote and not, because the first is free and the second not only has to be paid for but has also been hit by censorship issues. I remember moving, after creating this blog and reading through the instructions, it literally took minutes to move the contents of my old blog to here. You can get the content over in one go, you do not have to move it piecemeal, post by post. Things might have changed in the years since I moved so I thought that I would link to the relevant WordPress pages, that you would need now, if you are considering moving.



Your Blogger blog will not be destroyed or deleted in the process and will still be there if things go wrong. Not everyone might want to do this, but it might be worth considering.

Finally, I Found A GIF Of A Blogger Executive Warming Up His Hand Ready To Type The Next Punitive Instruction



Post Warning Note – Just for this post theme, I am allowing myself to use a lot of euphemisms that I normally go out of my way not to use. So expect silly sayings ahead.

What To Do With A Big (For Me Anyway) Stiffy When You Are Not Turned On

Last week, I told you about the start of a little Birthday adventure. You can read about that, if you missed it, through the following link.


When using the device in this photograph

And a restraining band, I managed to get my old love pole in a state of standing up, very proudly, whilst having no desire to do anything sexual, either with a partner or by rocket polishing. So I decided to get myself interested, with a selection of my favourite F/x video clips.

Getting To Grips With The Situation

So I had some serious wood

That the vacuum device had left a little larger and a lot veinier than normal

As I started to play a video, I looked at Tommy the Todger, in his ultra expanded state, maintained by a restraining band and wondered if I dared give him a handshake. What was I frightened of happening?

Well, something like that. But I took the plunge and started to explore this strange alien thing with my left hand. To my surprise, The red and purple veins, that I do not normally possess, were softer and more pliable to the touch, than the eye would suggest. So I popped open my favourite Solo, Grown up, Happy Time, assistant.

Enjoying the smell of strawberry and started to stroke Willy the One Eyed Sailor, even though I had no inclinations to do so, whilst I watched a few video clips. After about five minutes, I found that my mind started wandering and the situation became interesting to me.

Side Note

I do not enjoy orgasming. Not to say that I do not like sexual exploits, either solo or with a partner, but I find far more pleasure in taking the journey than arriving. An orgasm just means an end to the fun, for me. Not sure why this is, perhaps I suffer from weak orgasms, it is hard to tell without the ability to experience the same sensations that another person’s body might experience.

Anyway, Back To Choking The Chicken

The videos and my imagination were having the right effect. And the joyful sensation that I normally get from playing with the greasy pole was enhanced a lot by the pole being a more textured than normal. After about 15 or 20 minutes of Cuffing the Carrot and imaging what someone similar to the person in the picture below might do to me.

The inevitable, disappointing climax was reached. But this did not put an end to Mister Stiffy. I felt the bodily juices trying to exit the building, but the ejaculation was stopped by the restraining band. As the orgasm subsided, I was still left with the one eyed monster, in all its enhanced glory. So I broke out more lube and carried on playing five on one. To my surprise, things had developed greater sensation. At this point I broke out an old but favourite fantasy. The one where I am a much younger (but just legally adult) version of myself and am a prefect in a school, who has gotten on the wrong side of the Head Girl (who is also just legally adult). The Head Girl decides to take me in hand, Mercilessly 🙂

After a good fun, further half an hour (that is an estimation of time). The inevitable end game was reached again. And again the restraining band contained the blast and kept things standing to attention. After the show had dropped its curtain, I thought that it was time to bring things to a close and removed the restraining band. I expected the Meat Stick to lay down and go to sleep, but it did not. It lost its little extra length and returned to its smoother, more normal self, but the popsicle did not melt. There was only one way to bring this to an end and I indulged in more videos and self manipulation. At this point, I was glad that I was not with a woman, because Rumpleforskin had become hyper sensitive and I could not have explored a woman’s tender tunnel, under any circumstances. A feather-light touch was applied until…

It was the most impressive pearl fountain that I had ever produced, but I suppose that it was three loads arriving on one train 🙂

A Final Thought

This was an experiment to satisfy my curiosity and that end was achieved. But along the way I did find a way of prolonging the act of self-satisfaction, which proved highly enjoyable. Afterwards, though, it did leave me a little tender and I had to go and find my baggiest under crackers to wear. I suppose every joy cums at a price 🙂



Or Misadventures In A Vacuum – AKA One Of The Most Embarrassing Things I’ve Ever Posted

Post Warning Note – Just for this post theme, I am allowing myself to use a lot of euphemisms that I normally go out of my way not to use. So expect silly sayings ahead.

Regular visitors might remember, that in my post on Monday 23rd of January, I told you about an item that I purchased from an adult shop, as a birthday treat, with some money that I unexpectedly had. The item is something that I do not think that I will use a lot, but I wanted to satisfy my curiosity and this post is about that item.

My New Penis Pump And What I Did With It

Strangely, my curiosity about the effects of a vacuum on genitalia was first perked when I stumbled across a video of vaginal pumps being used in a BDSM scenario. The video is too graphic to post here, but you can see it through the following link, if you wish.


Although I did not find this a turn on, the effects of the pumps surprised and fascinated me. So I did a little research on the subject. I found statements, from women ranging from, these tools helping them to get the best orgasm ever, through to them finding it was just an uncomfortable and slightly painful experience and everything in between. It also got me thinking what the effects on the old trouser snake would be like, with the male equivalent. So when the opportunity arose, I decided to get equipped to find out for myself. And thus started my little Birthday adventure.

So I had some time on my hands, this new thing to try out, but absolutely no desire to do any rocket polishing, that day. But I thought I would just go for it anyway. A bit like the first time vagina pump user in the next link.



The kit had the cylinder, the pump, three sizes of entry holes, for the old one eyed sailor and a rubber penis ring, with bobbles on it, for some reason, I don’t know.

First thing

Could it get a guy, who is not in the mood, up and ready for action? I fitted the silicone mount that was the right size for me (medium size, DAMMIT) and put that on the tube. Then I started to pump. The result was immediate and surprising, the sergeant major started to stand to attention. I continued pumping and achieved an impressive (for me) stiffy, without feeing horny at all. Then I pressed the release valve and the flagpole dropped its colours immediately, as my body was not pumping the blood in that direction, it was being sucked in by the vacuum. Then I thought I would try out the penis ring and positioned it on the tube. I began pumping again and decided to go for it. There are measurements on the tube and I pumped until Percy the porcelain pointer became a bit bigger than normal. Not much, only 5 mm, but then decided to stop. I was experiencing a little pain at this point, but not enough to bother me. I stopped because I was developing veins that I had never seen before and did not want to risk one of them popping and secondly, because the suction on my scrotum was starting to suck one of my two veg into the hole and I had no desire to find out what the effect would be on a gonad in a vacuum. I slipped the ring onto the base of the old fella and pressed the release valve. My bigger and a lot veinier than normal man toy remained as it was. So now the question was, what can you do with a big hard on, when you are not in a state of desiring satisfaction?

Well, that’s one idea 🙂

And next?

I decided not to take a picture of it, tempting as the idea was. Instead, I decided to get interested and inserted (stop your dirty thoughts right there 🙂 ) a flash drive into my computer. This drive has a lot of my favourite videos of hot women raining all hell on the back sides of naughty boys and girls.

Do you want to hear more?

If you want to know what happened next, ask nicely in the comments box and I will consider telling you about it next Friday. If you object to such a post, tell me about it and I will weigh up the feedback and decide if I should post the rest of the adventure or not.

And I found another use for penis pumps

They can unblock drains 🙂