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Sorry to all of you but I have been sorting some stuff out for a hospital visit next week and just ran out of time to put a post together tonight (Thursday the 26th). And anyway I was kind of proud of this post and as it went live not long after I returned to blogging it didn’t get many visitors then. So I don’t think that many people saw it at the time. I hope that you enjoy it

What inspired this post

Because of EVENTS SOME YEARS AGO I could not watch much television for quite some time. To fill the entertainment gap I listened to BBC RADIO 4 and a lot of Podcasts. Now that I can watch TV again, I find that I am not missing it and so did not bother getting reconnected to the normal TV supply network. Now I only have Netflix and am still listening to a lot of stuff. A podcast that I have only recently discovered is THE GUILTY FEMINIST, which I strongly recommend. One of the episodes FEATURED THE WAY THAT MANY WOMEN’S MAGAZINES ARE WRITTEN and that is well worth listening to. That inspired me to create the fictional magazine Kinkmopolitan and to write this post in the style of such publications as COSMOPOLITAN and VOGUE. As I am not a BDSMer and have never been in a 24/7 relationship, by the standards of these magazines I am well qualified to wax lyrical about the subject. In fact, because I know what BDSM means, without having to Google it, I am probably over qualified.

Kinkmopolitan’s top ten tips on how a male BDSM submissive can tell that his Domme loves him

Imagine the scene, you can tell that the sun is setting by the way that the shadow of the bars on the window are crawling up the cold stone wall. You flex your muscles to test the rope binding you as you lie on the hard floor of your cage. You can feel your pulse through your fresh welts and the taste of stiletto still lingers in your mouth. All of this should make a guy feel secure, as he drifts off to sleep but still there is that lingering thought in the back of your mind that asks “Does My Domme Really Love Me?”.

Here are Kinkmopolitan’s top ten things to look out for, that proves that a Domme still loves her sub and is not just making do until someone with a higher pain tolerance comes along.

You know that your Domme loves you when….


She does her best not to fart, when she is sitting on your face

Number 2

Your food bowl has ‘WHO’S A GOOD BOY’ written on it

Number 3

When she screams “VAGINA FACE!” at you and you know that it is an instruction and not her nick name for you

Number 4

She makes sure that you have a nice comfy pillow, in your cage, to rest your head on

Number 5

Only she gets to use you as a chair and not 3 or 4 of her friends, all at once

Number 6

She makes sure that you are well lubed up before inserting the giant butt plug

Number 7

She always keeps her promise to untie you in the morning

Number 8

She uses a special set of cloths pegs for your zipper and does not just use the ones from the washing line

Number 9

She never ties your wrists so tightly that your hands turn purple and you pass out

Number 10

She does not make you walk the dog in your Sissy Maid outfit

So now you know that your Domme still loves you and you can drift off to the land of nod, safe in the knowledge that tomorrow will be another wonderful day, filled with pain and humiliation. Good night Mr man slave.




I am a feminist but – I did not write this in a NON BINARY or GENDER NEUTRAL fashion because that would have been too much of a faf about


Thanks to


For the following news

Emma Bishop Is Back

One time spanking video performer Emma bishop has come out of public spanking retirement and is making videos again. she also has a website and has returned to blogging. links below. I will be adding her blog on the BLOG AND VLOG ROLL PAGE. Ms Bishop once, kindly contributed to a posting series, that I used to run on this blog, called KINKY ISLAND DISCS. I thought to celebrate her return I would repost her contribution after the links to her website and blog.



Kinky Island Discs – Emma Bishop

A repost from January 2008

Welcome to Kinky Island Discs, where kinky bloggers and celebrities are cast away on a desert island with nothing to comfort them in their isolation except for some DVDs and a few other luxury items.

This week newly returned to both the modelling and blogging our castaway is –


Ms Bishop lives in Birmingham in the UK. She has been a spanking model since 2006 and did own the well trafficked website “The Trouble With Emma”and has produced and appeared in her own series of spanking videos. Ms Bishop was one of the spanking celebrities that took part in the Race For Life charity run with the Bums On The Run team in 2007, to raise money for Cancer Research. After taking a break from the commercial side of the scene Emma Bishop is now ending her hiatus. Ms Bishop informs me that her ambitions for 2008 are to appear in more spanking videos and attend parties.

Ms Bishop has re started her blog “The Unsecret Diaries Of Emma Bishop” where she mixes news from her own life and life history with debate and musings. To find out more about Ms Bishop I can think of no better place to go.

Disaster Strikes

Whilst on a single handed boat trip across the Pacific Ocean, Ms Bishops boat breaks down and her radio stops working, leaving her drifting for days. Disaster strikes and her boat begins to sink, luckily there is a desert island close enough for her to reach in her life boat but nobody knows where she is and she is likely to be stranded there for years, before she is rescued. Knowing that she was in trouble Ms Bishop stocked her life boat with all the survival gear that she could think of. But at the last minute Emma realizes that she has put nothing in the life boat for entertainment or luxury, with the water lapping around her ankles she manages to grab a solar powered DVD player, five kinky DVDs, a vanilla DVD, a single music track, a book a kinky toy and one vanilla luxury item.

To see what she chose and why I hand you over to the castaway herself – Emma Bishop

Five Kinky DVDs

Disc one – First Day OF Term Part One

I always yearned to be an actress and model since I was little and first saw this about five years ago when I was just getting into the public spanking scene. It convinced me it was my destiny to become a spanking model. The fact that this movie was also to do with my kink was synergy in heaven 🙂 Not being stick thin or beautiful but having some compliments suggesting my best asset was my bottom, it gave me a way into treading the boards and a catwalk of sorts! The storyline, the atmosphere, the hook lines (“One thing I do know Ellis, you won’t be sitting down for supper tonight”) the setting and the most realistic (Roue).OTK spanking I have ever seen (Alan Bell and Lucy Palmer) has never been bettered for me. I got it to keep two years ago for Xmas from a dear friend and it’s deffo coming along with me 🙂

Disc two – Before Bedtime (Girls Boarding School)

This is a down loadable video from Girls Boarding School that I subscribed to once. It features this dark haired girl (Emma) being woken from her bed for the second part of her daily discipline. Having already been caned she is spanked soundly over the knee and I can’t see much acting there, just realism, love it!

Disc three – Phoning Home (Red Stripe)

I think the best Domme I have ever seen is Miss Brown and although I haven’t worked with or been spanked by many females I would love the chance to be standing before her in my school uniform! She is stern, fluent, thorough and completely ignores tears and protests until she is happy the girls get their desserts. The reactions of the Asian girl are obviously real and the tawse is so expertly given it had me holding my own bottom the first time I saw it.

Disc four – Linda’s Homework (Girls Boarding School)

Another one showing Tom from Girls Boarding school expertly at work. I do love the man, he’s the best! I used to be afraid of the belt as a child having been threatened with it, so any mention of it in my spanking activity always brought a “no-no” from me. When I saw this, about three years ago I think, it changed my mind. I saw how it was able to cover and redden the whole bottom and found it erotic and loved the sound of the leather, so it was on my list from then on as a new experience. I have since had it a few times now and because I think of it as just another strap (so that I don’t fear the word “belt” as I used to) it is further up my list of preferences. Brilliant realism again, apart from a soppy musical intro.

Disc five – An Ad In The Times (Red Stripe)

The legendary Ivor Gold (so I’m told) and I wish I had the chance to work with him. I saw this about a year ago and love the idea of being sent to someone else for discipline by my partner Dom etc. Mr Gold is fantastic, adding humour to the lecture but it still sent butterflies to my tummy when he sticks to his guns and carries out a perfect spanking and caning. I am not sure if there is something about the older movies or the graininess but I think they come across less scripted and contrived than many today, and that’s what I aspire to in my own roles. I prefer a loose story line and so that the rest can be put to my own thoughts and personality which is how I saw the cast of this movie doing well.

Vanilla DVD

In Her Shoes – I am a massive Cameron Diaz fan and have seen this about 10 times so far and am not bored with it. I can so relate to her character Maggie and how she changes to appreciate the other side of life. I still cry at the bit where she has to overcome dyslexia to read the fantastic poem by E.E. Cummings that you can see a clip of here. “Here is the root of the root… and the bud of the bud… and the sky of the sky of a tree called life… which grows higher than the soul can hope… or mind can hide. It is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart. I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart.”

Sob, sob..but a fantastic movie (sorry guys it’s a “chick flick”, so get over it.

A Music Track

The Voice Within by Christine Aguilera. My reason for choosing this would be understood by anyone who knows me well. It helped me get through a difficult time and gave me the strength to carry on. I had tears, pain and joy all rolled into one during this period. but this song was always the one I leaned on to pull me through. Now I can play it and feel happier. These are the lines I will never forget in the song:

“Young girl don’t cry
I’ll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl it’s all right
Your tears will dry, you’ll soon be free to fly”

“When there’s no one else, look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend just trust the voice within
Then you’ll find the strength that will guide your way
You’ll learn to trust the voice within”

A Book

Tess Of The Durbervilles by Thomas Hardy. I have only ever read about five books in my entire life because I am too hyper and can’t relax long enough, preferring the movie usually. I was given this to read by a strict “Uncle” friend of mine and had to read it as homework, or else. I actually lived it and cried at the end when Tess goes to the gallows for a love lost. I think I may have been her or someone like her in another life because I had an eerie cold shiver when I read it and recognised the places described in the landscape before finishing the text.

A Spanking Implement

10 hole drilled wooden paddle. In the absence of a strong hand to spank me on the island this would cover the area well and it stings like a hard spanking. oooh!! Unless of coarse It’s a punishment discipline in which case, it is lethal and sore for a few days!

A Vanilla Luxury Item

My Archos MP4 Player. It has my music. Move and music clips collection on it and as music is my first love, I would want it to be my last if I did not survive the cannibals!

Is there anything else you would like to add ?

Thanks so much for inviting me to join in, I am truly flattered and wowed! I don’t do desert islands because I can’t swim lol, but if I did, I would hope to be on one with Spankedhortic 🙂 …sorry, is that too much sucking up? (hee hee).
Thanks xx

Suck up as much as you like Ms Bishop. On behalf of myself and the readers of Spankedhortic I would like to thank Ms Bishop for her participation and hope that she will soon be rescued and returned to the Heart of England to continue with her modelling.

I hope you all enjoyed that repost.



I’ll admit it, I have not done my blog homework in the weekend and the dog ate it and we had a power cut and add any other lame and untrue excuse that you like to that list. Well sorry I was just too busy and you can invite me over for a punishment caning if you like, no really, I would like that 🙂 Anyway I came across this post from august 14 2012 and thought that it was just as relevant now as it was then. So you have something to read, whilst I join the queue outside the study of the Head Mistress.


I do not approve or disapprove of the disciplinarians, who’s images I have used in this post, I simply chose them because I am unlikely to visit them due to geographical location. These images came from Miss Kami Robertson DisciplinarianMiss Sarah Gregory and Mistress Claudia Surrey Domme.

When I am visiting the website of a pro disciplinarian I am looking for…

Recently (then as now) I have been thinking about visiting a professional disciplinarian and so have been touring the ‘net looking at websites and finding that some of them are lacking the kind of information that I want. Well I am going to say what I am looking to see on a pro disciplinarian’s site.

Clear and easy information

I want to know the general location of business, not a precise address but just an idea if it is within reasonable travelling distance.

I want to know what services that are or are not offered.

I want contact details.

I want to know times and dates of convenience.

I would like all of this to be easy to find and not have to hunt around for the information.


Galleries are great, a picture can say a thousand words but I get annoyed at galleries that just seem to say “Look how hot I am.”.

Photos of the disciplinarian are good, I am not looking for them of someone in a state of undress (some might but not me) but I like to see an image that can cross that first physiological barrier of “Does this person look like they can click my Yes Mis’ button”.

Showing the range of toys/implements available is always a good idea.

And showing some results of the spanking range offered, from most ,mild to most harsh, can be a very good guide to the severity levels that are offered.

Some images of the location are also useful.

I also like to see

An “I do not offer sexual services” notice. I’m looking for a spanking and not sex so it is reassuring to see that, that is the deal.

An idea if I can go “Ouch!” at the place of play. Having to control the loudness of vocalization reduces the enjoyability of play.

A nice clean simple website. All the bells and whistles of sophisticated web design, might be impressive at first but it can very quickly become annoying.

I don’t want to be a time waster

I do not like having my time wasted and I do not like to waste the time of others and an informative and easy to negotiate website can help reduce the numbers of unnecessary emails from inappropriate clientèle. Different Tops/Dommes offer different services and different Bottoms/Subs want different services, good websites can help people find the right match, bad ones can put potential clients off and encourage time wasting.

I have just realised that not only did I not do my blog homework, I am now guilty of copying the work of me from 7 years ago. O well, I suppose that those six strokes have now turned into a full dozen 🙂